he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
