He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
