With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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