whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
