Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
