I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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