Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize