32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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