that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
