Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
