garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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