Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You left your phone here
Wait...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
