what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
