my phone needs a breathalizer
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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