Screwed.edu
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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