butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
