My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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