I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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