Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
