that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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