I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
