it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
