when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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