Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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