i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
