Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize