her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
