Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
