I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
