and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
