He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
