I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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