are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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