i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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