I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
