8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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