marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
