she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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