even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
