i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
