i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
