i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize