I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
