New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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