Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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