Pappa wants mamma naked
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
