My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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