did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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