Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Randomize
