After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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