covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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