I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
