Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
