Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So squirting runs in the family.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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