There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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