i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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