did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
