If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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