an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
