ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
