Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
