my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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