his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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