She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
