I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pooping to opera.
Randomize